Twist-Off Knowledge© from National Beer©
The Twist-Off Knowledge © revealed on our last live broadcast was … Each year, more die from unsafe water than all violence combined.
Twist-Off Knowledge © is the creation of the National Brewery ©. National Brewery © makes National Beer ©, the only beer that comes in a can with a twist-off cap. Inside the cap is a hieroglyph, a pictograph, a rebus if you will, that imparts onto you, the soon-to-be-drunk drinker of National Beer ©, a little bit of Twist-Off Knowledge ©.
Twist-Off Knowledge © is deciphered live on the air during each and every Saturday morning broadcast.
Twist-Off Knowledge © is the product of a crack team of researchers who are sealed in a dark oak-paneled office where light barely leaks through crusted windows high atop the fresh spring water tower in Peshtigo, Wisconsin, the home of America’s Most Disastrous Forest Fire – and National Beer ©.
Make sure to ask your local barkeep for National Beer ©, the official beer of This is Hell.
Pound for pound, hamburger is more expensive than cars.
There are 288 scruples in a pound.
Planned Parenthood’s founder was anti-abortion.
Every mammal but elephants can jump.
In every Seinfeld episode there is a Superman.
Ten percent of Iraqis are disabled by war.
Nitrous oxide (laughing gas) parties were big in the 19th century.
Three children die in Afghan war each day.
Half of Detroit workers are not working.
One in four Americans don’t think where they live is their true home.
640,000 American homes do not have indoor plumbing.
Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button.
There are more tigers in Texas than India.
Human hair grows 50 feet in a lifetime.
Frogs don’t drink water.
The proto Indo-European word for salmon is lox.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room.
Boomerangs return even in space.
Each loaf of Wonder Bread has 22 slices.
90% of belly buttons are innies.
J. Edgar Hoover’s driver was not allowed to make left turns.
80% of news is first reported in newspapers.
There’s no chocolate in white chocolate.
On average, people fart 15 times per day.
Puritans believed being born on Sunday was a sin.
Americans (on average) use one disposable plastic bag every day.
A plane’s black box is orange.
A reindeer is a domesticated caribou.
Three species go extinct each day.
DuPont is America’s number one polluter.
All polar bears are left-handed.
Henry Ford invented charcoal briquettes.
On average, each person uses 56 sheets of toilet paper a day.
Americans eat 10 times more cheese per capita than in 1969.
Three quarters of the world’s freshwater is in glaciers.
Jon Stewart’s real name is Liebowitz.
In 2008, the average American lost $100,000 in net worth.
Unmarried men live ten fewer years.
Raindrops fall at 22 miles per hour.
Bart Simpson donated ten million dollars to scientology.
Most rattlesnake bite victims are drunk men.
Since 1913, only one-third of appointed US Senators won reelection.
Carrots were a medicine first.
The longest escalator in the world is at CNN’s Atlanta headquarters.
Seven tenths of one percent of the world’s population is drunk.
Christ’s birthday is in June.
Cuba’s ban on toasters ends in 2010.
California leads US in hate groups.
California leads US in Iraq War deaths.
Chocolate does not cause acne.
Three quarters of human feces is water.
Each day, eight people choke to death.
Nearly half of Americans do not know the Sun is a star.
The world runs out of zinc in 2037.
Cindy McCain’s convention outfit cost $300,000.
Licorice is also known as Spanish juice.
A quarter of Americans believe their workplace is a dictatorship.
Rain’s terminal velocity is 22 miles per hour.
Rick Steves is a stoner.
The number one killer of Americans under 35 is guns.
Arabic numerals were invented by Hindus.
Karl Rove’s Dad is gay.
A quarter of all people are vegetarians.
Women buy 96% of candy.
A half million American children live in same-sex parent homes.
Most doctor visits are due to stress.
Americans eat one and a half hot dogs each week on average.
Globally 2/5 of births and 2/3 of deaths are unreported.
The dirtiest thing in a hotel room is the TV remote.
Ira Glass scripts his laughs.
78% of cars in the US carry one passenger.
Mangos are the world’s number one fruit.
The average American sleeps 8 1/2 hours a night.
Wheat has doubled in price in the last year.
Not including oil, coffee is number one in international commerce.
Sailors’ gold earrings paid for their burials.
Japan’s army is bigger than Britain’s.
St. Patrick was not Irish.
Americans favorite car color is white.
Afghanistan and Iraq war veterans healthcare will cost as the two wars combined.
In 1993, the Pope admitted the Earth was not stationary.
Only humans and armadillos can have leprosy.
India consumes the world’s most gold.
Family and friends commit 98% of all murder and rape.
Mike Nesmith’s Mom invented White-Out.
Each person makes 12 tons of poop in their life.
In the US, yams are Louisiana sweet potatoes.
Pilgrims didn’t celebrate Christmas.
90% of US firemen are overweight or obese.
There are more escort services in Washington DC than McDonalds.
Stamp glue is 1/10th of a calorie.
Reindeer like bananas.
Pig orgasms last thirty miinutes.
100% of divorces are caused by marriage.
85% of US tea is served iced.
Shell Oil makes three million dollars per hour.
For each insurgent killed, the US uses a quarter million bullets.
Ten times as many Americans have died of food poisoning since 9/11 as died on 9/11.
In Russia, half of working age men die from alcohol abuse.
More than one-fifth of all Detroit households do not have cars.
JFK smoked pot.
Pigs can become alcoholic.
Between her death and burial, one third of Fox News Channel coverage was on Anna Nichole Smith.
You swallow a quart of snot each day.
Flu shots succeed 70% of the time.
Doctor Seuss coined ‘nerd.’
Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas was the cartoon voice of the Peanuts’ Sally and Lucy.
The password most used to start up computers in the US is ‘password.’
Fifty Cent and President George W. Bush were both born on July 6th.
Only giraffes are born with horns.
Porcupines cannot shoot their quills.
Hugo Chavez loves fatties.
Doctors bad handwriting kills seven thousand Americans each year.
TV is America’s number one political news source.
In murder-suicides, 95% of the time the man murders the woman.
A quarter of “Girls Gone Wild” footage is shot in March.
Mexico City has the most taxis of any city.
An American minister invented the rickshaw in Japan.
Ten inches of snow equals one inch of rain.
The highest per capita GI death rate in Iraq is from America Samoa.
Each week, one Chicago pedestrian is killed by a car.
New York City uses over sixteen tons of cocaine a year.
Christmas’s true meaning is sun worship.
All dogs have the same gestation period.
In the US, three quarters of female prisoners are black.
The ACLU got Ollie North off.
Elephants poop fifty pounds a day.
Jim Brown was an All-American lacrosse player.
Q Tips were originally called Baby Gays
In the US, Frisbees outsell baseballs, basketballs and footballs combined.
Bohemians are the boii.
A polecat is a weasel.
The average person uses 57 sheets of toilet paper each day.
Antarctica has no reptiles or snakes.
Bananas are America¹s number one fruit.
Nothing rhymes with month, orange, purple or silver.
Peanuts are beans.
Half of all bank robberies are on Friday.
Mohammad is the world’s most popular name.
Australia is the number one per capita producer of carbon dioxide.
Beethoven ground sixty beans for each cup of coffee.
Ouija is from the French and German words for yes.
A pineapple is a berry.
There are 165 (twelve ounce) cans of beer in a keg.
Matt Damon and Howard Zinn are neighbors.
A moth was the first bug in a computer.
La Paz is the highest capital.
It takes eight hundred gallons of water to make one hamburger.
Two-fifths of the world’s almonds and one-fifth of peanuts are used in chocolate.
Kentucky Blue Grass is not from Kentucky but Europe.
The Metropolitan Museum of Art has the world’s largest baseball card collection.
Baby carrots are shaved down adult carrots.
The Savings and Loan bailout cost taxpayers $341 billion
Mancow uses spray-on hair
Women own one percent of the world’s land.
Humans shed over a hundred pounds of skin in an average life.
Ten percent of all human beings ever are currently alive.
A dentist invented the electric chair.
In 1980, the Reagan/Bush campaign fired Karl Rove for leaking to Robert Novak.
Israel financially supported Hamas.
Virginia Woolf drowned herself.
Darkness cures cancer.
New Jersey is greater than India in population density.
Peanuts are in dynamite.
The Virgin Mary appears more times in the Koran than the Bible
Muslims believe in Christ’s virgin birth
The Bible features seven suicides
Coffee is the world’s most popular beverage
300,000 die each year from obesity in the US
Number one killer of beavers is falling trees
When dying the last working sense is hearing
Car crashes are the number one cause of death for kids one to four years old
The Civil War caused 400,000 morphine addictions
Tennessee hanged an elephant for murder
A severed head is conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds
Bodies decompose four times faster in water than on land
Caffeine from decaffeinated coffee is sold to drug companies
Flamingos turn pink from eating shrimp
The Soviets landed on the moon in 1959
Four in five boxers have brain damage
Mark Twain was a miner
The smell of natural gas is artificial
Cocaine was the first local anesthetic
Honey is the only food that won¹t spoil
Babies don’t cry till six to eight weeks of age
Total weight of eighteen humming birds is one ounce
Only blood donors are allowed to duel in Paraguay
Bill Clinton sent two emails while in office
Each cruise ship dumps 35,000 gallons of sewage each day
There are 100 million undiscovered landmines
A gigabyte of paperwork would fill a truck
On average, poets live less than any other writer
Pernod owns Dunkin’ Donuts
When in love, men get more female hormones and women get more male hormones
Laura Bush is a chain smoker
Space is sixty-two miles away
In the US, a billion birds die each year from crashing into buildings
Ducks have regional accents
Bill Clinton didn’t ride a bike till he was 22
The same number of British workers go to the pub as have sex at lunch.
Picasso was arrested in the Mona Lisa theft case
sex didn’t mean sex till 1929 (apparently, the word for ‘gender’ was not used to mean ‘copulate’ till 1929).
Shaggy’s real name is Norville Rogers.
Brazilians are the most likely to read spam
crows like to eat windshield wiper blades
in the UK, a line of coke costs less than a cup of cappuccino
taxi drivers are the non-security job that has the most shop violence
345 cow squirts equals one gallon of milk
moral values guiding votes has dropped since 1996
Presidents who lost the popular vote are not reelected
in the US, one in three African Americans go to jail
President Bush goes to church less than Carter and Clinton
there are 27 million slaves in the world today
more people recognize McDonalds’ arches than the Christian cross
each minute two people die in cars
fifteen gallons of milk equals one gallon of ice cream
the Klan was formed by Confederate Army Veterans
fortune cookies first appeared in Asia in 1989.
fax was the first brand of tampon
there are no Js on the periodic table
shoes and feet are the number one sexual fetish
half million US kids live in same-sex-parent households
three of five German men didn’t shower today
three naked men are on the Nobel Peace Prize
the average city tree lives eight years
Hitler was Time’s Man of the Year in 1938
there are more corporations than countries in the top hundred economies
most burglaries happen during the day
‘MayDay’ is ‘Help Me’ in French
Van Gogh sold one painting
arabic numbers were invented by Hindus
pipe dream first meant smoking opium
the distance from New York to London equals the circumfrence of the Moon
the Soviet Union set off the largest nuclear explosion in history
there are no clocks in Las Vegas casinos
Bayer made heroin
Wal-Mart is Mexico’s leading employer
the Bible has twice more verses on money than on prayer and faith
the Peace Sign is ‘N’ and ‘D’ in semaphore (stands for nuclear disarmament)
natural gas smell is artificial
a pope authored an erotic novel
Jamestown colonists were cannibals
Susan B. Anthony was antiabortion
ten percent of mined salt is dumped on US roads
blondes have more hair
half of the world has yet to make a phone call
smokers have less sperm
the Ten Commandments were not written in stone
in the US, more die from a lack of health insurance than AIDS
at their peak, AT&T had 978,000 employees
Aladdin was originally a Chinese boy
nine US presidents owned slaves
Kuwait is the only democratic nation that doesn’t allow women to vote
cremated (human) ashes weigh seven pounds
the first US soldier to die in Gulf War Two was not a US citizen
there are more cars in the US than licensed drivers
US silver supply is at West Point
women shoplift four times more than men
White House was gray before the Canadians burned it
Neanderthhal’s brains were bigger than human’s
Israeli postage stamps are kosher
raisins go up and down in champagne
two of three people read on the toilet
Sacajewea is the most often depicted person on US statues
a jiffy is one one-hundredth of a second
Buddy Hackett was supposed to replace Curly
Ann Coulter went to sixty-seven Grateful Dead shows
men attempt suicide three times as often as women, but women are twice as successful
only humans copulate face to face
1,565 Americans died from bad liquor during prohibition
four popes died during sex
Americans consume forty-two tons of aspirin a day
in 1900, the average lifespan in the US was 47 years
during your lifetime you will grow two meters of nose hair
a dry mouth tastes nothing
Lone Ranger’s mask was made from his dead brother¹s vest
about 100 people die from choking on ball-point pens each year.
more people are killed by donkeys than in plane crashes each year
the water we drink is three billion years old
One hundred thousand americans die each year from medicine
In World War Two the first bomb dropped on Berlin killed their zoo¹s only elephant
in Europe and America each cow receives $2.70 in subsidy two times the average income of a third world farmer.
electricity will make pickles glow
in Paraguay, dueling is allowed among blood donors
(Francis) Bacon died while stuffing a chicken with snow
each human swallows seven spiders when sleeping (on average over a lifetime)
more Americans have been killed by Gulf War vets than were killed by Iraqis (during the Gulf War)
the three richest people in the world have more money than the forty-eight poorest countries
one ton of cement is poured for each human per year
a duck’s quack will not echo
a monkey was convicted of smoking in South Bend (Indiana)
Australia is the world’s number one producer of coal
Pinkerton died from biting his tongue
FBI agents were not allowed to carry guns for 26 years
first-known contraceptive was crocodile dung
a coin lands heads more often than tails
Half the people killed in the Holocaust were Jews
the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper
on average, WalMart is sued thirteen times every day
DeGaulle survived 31 assassanitaion attempts
At Sparta’s height – there were twenty slaves for each citizen.
the US Army tested weapons on cadavers
beauty contests were banned in Canada in 1992
in 1914, France’s first lady was kidnapped by an orangutan
Nixon was in Dallas when President Kennedy was shot
to Natives, Canada is “Big Village”
fish can get sea sick
two-thirds of Americans have hemorrhoids
there are eight bones in a human wrist
Mary Shelley saved Percy’s heart in silk
(Admiral) Nelson’s body fermented in brandy that was drank by his crew
if something has been burned once it can’t be burned again
an electric car went over sixty miles per hour in 1899
flaws give gems their color
seventy percent of house dust is dead skin
there are more televisions in the United States than humans in Japan
cats and rats are not in the Bible
rats can survive without water longer than camels
the first Mexican newspaper started in 1541
pigs and dogs can taste water – humans can’t
one sixth of able-bodied (and white) Americans participated in the (United States) Revolutionary War
yearly, Americans spend more on dog food than baby food
Hitler’s half brother moved to New York City
Finland almost banned Donald Duck for not wearing pants
the first Valentine was beheaded
the West first attacked the Muslim world 906 years ago
rats dissolve in cola
Illinois was the first state to legalize sodomy
since 1930 – 14 times more kids are left-handed
Americans spend 750 million dollars a year on phone sex
(Tim) Russert was an NBC executive
Uncle Sam and Santa were created by the same artist
Sulu was a detainee
91 flew across the Atlantic before Lindbergh
numbers are from Islamic culture
one quarter of all American movie screens are showing Harry Potter (premiere weekend)
most terrorism happens in the Americas
Uzbek converted the Mongols to Islam
Reagan negotiated with terrorists three times
the world’s biggest oil spill ever, was intentional
Canada gives the US more oil than Saudi Arabia
soldiers are three times more likely to use whores
the top Czech religion is atheism
average Afghan income is eight hundred dollars (US) per year
some Afghans are Arab – but all Afghanis are Arab
mass production and the Internet were invented by the US government
three percent of the United States is urban and three-quarters live there
in World War Two four-fifths of the Allied dead were Russians
Flin Flon is the pot capital of Canada
a pimp’s cut is one hundred percent
Gary (Indiana) has the highest proportion of African-Americans (of any city) in the United States
sex burns more calories than golf per hour
Illinois Avenue is the most landed on Monopoly space
Turkey has the world’s highest rate of traffic deaths
RC (cola) is the secret ingredient in Moon Pies
from 1990 till 1999, radio formats with the biggest drop are easy listening and adult contemporary
Mrs. Robinson was the Grammy’s Record of the Year in 1968 and 1970
Michael Jordan makes more than all the Malaysian Nike factory workers combined
Leinenkeugel is a product of Miller
In real dollars, the all-time number one box office champion is “Gone With the Wind”
seven percent of the bombs dropped in the Gulf War were smart
former Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley first won office as a Republican
On Mercury, a year is one and-a-half days long
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